must ... not ... buy ... suit ...

I flew into Hanoi and bought a camera and a hat to replace that the things I lost while tubing. This woman wanted $3 for this hat, so I offered her 50,000 dong ($3.12) and she promptly talked me down to 45,000 dong. So of course, I had to take a picture of my first reverse bargaining experience. Something tells me that this is how the Palin-Biden debate is going to go... rabbit season.... duck season.... rabbit season....

Traffic in hanoi is insane. There are a few signals, but mostly you just play chicken with everyone. Here's a shot of a guy texting while driving. He was actually texting while going through that intersection.

And here's how you have to cross the street. New camera has a 10 second max so i didn't get the entire video, but trust me, I made it across.


My book and a few other travel agencies recommended this “water puppets” show. The music was cool, but the best part about the show was the air conditioned theater. My friend & I fell asleep after 10 minutes. But it was only $1, so it's hard to really complain.

This picture was supposed to be free, but after taking it, the women insisted we buy something from her. We ended up just running away. “free” should really be free!

At the war museum, they have one of our choppers.... gimme back my chopper!

And our tank!!!!

but they can keep the live ammo that is laying around. There are a few items that even the locals won't touch. And people are encouraged to not stray from the path because of land mines. My book reads, “one land mine can ruin your whole day”. Wtf?

Our kick ass tour guide while we were in the “De-Militarized Zone”. He accidentally left his bike helmet on while made him look like almost like he was in war costume.

This was 1/8 of a war cemetery and there were 73 cemeteries in the area.

north vietnam didn't have metal dog tags as most countries do, so some soldiers couldn't be identified. This grave reads, “Unknown Soldier”

Here's a monument that faces north vietnam that signifies the women waiting for their men to return. As a side note, women and children (age 14 & up) were allowed to fight for the north, but only 18+ year old men were allowed to fight for the south.

We visited the Vinh Moc tunnels. 2.8km of tunnels built by 17 people over 18 months. Comes complete with bathrooms, kitchens, weapon storage, etc. I just wish they made the tunnels 4 inches higher because I had to slouch the entire time. They were so inconsiderate back then!

My group outside the tunnel.

While in hue (who-ae), I rented a scooter and was checking out the city when this local pulled me over. Apparently, my driving skills weren't up to par and i stood out or something. She offered to take me to some tombs in exchange for talking with her kids for around an hour so they could practice their english. Sounds like a great deal, eh? Turns out that it is a normal scam and she wanted 200k dong for her kids books. I felt bad, but I told her, “i no pay” over and over. So I got a free guide for the day. In defense of my cheapness, I did give her 3 fruit leather bars (worth 16,600 dong). I'm so giving....

at one of the tombs...

another of the tombs....

since I didn't pay my guide, I was left to find my way back by myself. I asked for directions and felt like I should buy some food from a guy who helped. Let's just concede that the name of this meal should be called “vegetarian hell”. I didn't know what I was eating, but I know it had liver and a few types of meat. Later on, I found out that I was eating dog. Yes, I killed fido. Sorry people.

Some citadel something something... I didn't pay for a guide, so I can't tell you what I was looking at. I'm sure it was some king or emperor's pet cat needed a shrine or something...

non-fatal crash... but still made me ride a little more carefully.

playin' w/ the local bugs...

we didn't want to pay for a ride home after a night of drinking, so we rode the taxi drivers home.

In the next city of “hue an”, there are a ridiculous amount of tailors. And for $80, you can get a nice suit completely custom made with nice fabric. At the time of this blog, I have not purchased a suit. But I have to admit, i'm really tempted. I mean, a new custom suit for $80? they also can make any dresses you want. You just need to show them a picture. ... must .... not .... buy ....

we went on a lame boat ride around the city which was amusing just because we were all together. They driver let simon drive for a bit and I got flashbacks to washing elephants. Hmmm...

Here's a dude fishing.

After the boat ride, we drank beers for a couple hours at 4000 dong a beer. That's 23 cents a beer!

I've got a few more cities to check out in vietnam before I make my way through cambodia. Until then, Mot, hai, ba ... YO!!!

no injuries, but i did lose a soldier

here's my plane to laos (pronounced 'lao', btw).
this airline is known for crashing into the mountains and guide books recommend not taking it if the weather is bad. but it was cheap, which did you think i was gonna take?

those of you who have been to my house know why i'm jealous.... look at that beautiful antenna stand!?!?

sunset in luang prabang (laos).

15 grand for gas. expensive? actually no, it's less than $2 a gallon. the smallest bill (kip) i saw in LAOs was a '1000'.

i hung out w/ some super fun brits for a few days. here's us at the bottom of a waterfall.

here's me at the top of the waterfall at the edge.

here's one of the few pictures i took from the top of the waterfall. you can see that bridge that was pictured earlier in the upper left.

and here you thought monks never left the temple... i missed it, but after I left, they were jumping off of one of the smaller falls in their robes. that would hilarious to see...

i joined up w/ 2 americans to do a 2 day trek in the mountains. on the way up, we saw a body floating in the water....

but don't worry, he was alive and was merely fishing!!! me so funny. at the village, kids didn't have a wii, so they chased goats around.

and when chasing goats got tiring, they threw flip-flops at a stick in the ground. speaking of flip flops, did you read the story about john mcc.... oh never mind...

tired kiddo chased too many goats & threw too many flip-flops in one day...

smoking opium... or sucking on sugar cane.... actually, I was offered opium a couple times a day when I was in luang prabang. Alas, I didn't partake.

sean having fun w/ the kids.

our guide spent 3 hours preparing this kick ass meal. though the locals just pretty much ate lettuce soup. they fed all their corn to the farm animals.

if rob radke were travelling with me, i wouldn't have to take pictures of naked kids to get the appropriate amount of nudity in my pictures, but he's not.

here's me leaving the village posing like i own the place or just built it. all i managed to do was improving my squatting techniques. Squatting, you ask? oh what the hell, i'll just tell you my diarrhea story. so the anti-malarial pills are kind of rough of people's bodies and it gave me the runs. the guide didn't want me to wander around the town in the middle of the night alone. (oh, did i mention there are NO toilets?) so he walks me to my spot where i'll be doing my business. i don't know about any of you, but i like my privacy when i'm taking a dump, especially if you got the runs. but the guide was standing like 10 feet away from me just around bush. needless to say, when you got the runs, things don't come out totally silent. so i finished up and the guide so, "oh, are you sick? your stomach is ok?" i'm thinking, "DUDE! i don't want to talk about my bowels!" nonetheless, we proceeded to talk about the effects of anti-malarial pills. be thankful this is the picture i'm posting after this story. it could have been way worse. :)

i don't care what you say about my manly umbrella, the shade was nice & cool.

here's me mounting an elephant while it takes a leak.

here's a tour billed as "learn how to clean & train elephants". so the first step is to clean the mofo. when you think about it, it's quite brilliant. what do you do when you don't want to do all of your work? that's right. have a tourist PAY YOU to do YOUR WORK for you. alas, i had fun doing it. But just this once...

for 'training' portion of the tour, we learned how to give basic directional instructions. i refused to tell my elephant what to do figuring she ought to walk where she wanted. the end result was that my elephant spent of lot of time eating brush and holding up the group....

I headed to this town of “vang vieng” where the main attraction is tubing. This is like chris geirman's tubing trips except you make one run all day and you stop at many bars along the way. if my name were sarah palin, i'd claim this tubing time was a reason i'm experienced in foreign relations...

At one of the bars, they have a volleyball court/pit. What ends up happening is there's a ball that occasionally gets hit over the net and we just throw mud at each other. everyone wins and loses.

Post v-ball shot.

Most bars come with swings too. Yes, it really is that high. And unfortunately, I lost my camera somewhere along the river after this bar. My money and sunscreen stayed in my pocket, but these swings took the life of my poor trusty camera. I only lost a days worth of tubing pictures, so it's not the end of the world. Especially since I went tubing again the next day and just got pictures from other people. Several people spent a whole week tubing. Honestly, I can see why. This was sooooo much fun.

We used a quick shot camera to record my failed double back flip attempt. I did, to my credit, make it around 1 & ¾ times though. So close...

when you buy a bucket of alcohol (which was totally common), this bar gives you a free joint. They also pretty much require you to do a free shot when you walk in. but you aren't alone, that woman in the background giving away the shots takes several herself. I really don't know how she stays standing.

talk of diarrhea, elephants taking a leak, fake dead bodies, tubing insanity.... another normal blog entry, I suppose. I'm now headed to vietnam for 10ish days. Probably about time I start reading about where i'm going... and if you haven't noticed, i highly recommend going to laos! it's brilliant!

hope everyone is well!